Ode to Schaub, by Eric Perlmutter

From hero to hero, except now youre playing,
But watch out for that O-line, or you best be praying.
Now youre the Texans’ boy, no longer ‘League’s Best Backup’ --
Your old spot was lockdown, now you’ll get hella jacked up. (JACKed, UP!)
I give you till week four – then it’s from QB to IV;
Unstead of throwin' passes, you’ll be gettin fed Hi-C.
You were The Man at number two – no backup Q had more ’B’in cred!
People treated you like a Pro Bowler, except Sundays, you’d be in bed.

Atlanta, you might miss it –
Your new contract, kiss it –
But Dwight Freeney’s got you lit like [something illicit].